Please do not tell my child to take their glasses off…
This is a rant. Aimed at no doubt the thoughtless amongst us.
My child wears glasses. She has inherited not only my short-sighted vision, but also astigmatism and a genetic eyelid condition that means that she will, for the rest of her life, either have to wear glasses or contact lenses, unless at some point she chooses to pay for expensive eye surgery (that isn’t 100% guaranteed to work in our case, I have had laser surgery that improved the sight in my left eye, but I still need to wear glasses and will need eye surgery at some point. She may too)
She is generally a happy go lucky kind of child, we have hit the tween and pre-tween years though and she is becoming more conscious of her appearance and what she wears and how she looks.
She wears her glasses all the time. She has to. She can’t really see without them.
We have just spent time and energy (and bless the NHS optical services for children, not that much money) getting her two new pairs of rather fabulous glasses. They have so much more choice than when I was a child, with only the ghastly pale pink or pale blue horn-rimmed monstrosities available to choose from (I have been wearing glasses from very early on, I think I was 6 when I got my first pair) although rather horrifyingly, the optical assistant helping us to choose said those styles are coming back into trend!!
Yes, I am old, I wore glasses very much like this…
She looks good in glasses and she is happy to wear them. I have always been positive about wearing glasses and both her father and I wear glasses all the time, so she is used to them being worn. She hasn’t had any hassles from her peers at school about wearing them, and no one has said anything negative to her about them. She looks at her usual beautiful self wearing them. She can see with them and she feels confident and happy. She is rather delighted to be in possession of two pairs of new glasses, but also prescription sun glasses and swimming goggles too, because she needs them. We had fun choosing and trying them all on.
Glasses are part of her life. She has to wear them.
So when a well-meaning person says to her “let me take your photo, but take your glasses off first” or “would you like to take your glasses off for this photo?” it tells her something.
It tells her that she will look better in a photograph without her glasses on. It makes her think that wearing her glasses makes her not look as “nice”. It makes her question what she looks like in glasses.
She doesn’t need that. As a tweenager rapidly hitting puberty and teenagehood, she has enough to deal with from the world and it’s expectations on her looks, what she wears, how she acts, and what she is, without another thing to add to the list of things to dent her confidence.
So, if you happen to utter those words in my hearing, towards her, you will hear me tell her “no, put your glasses back on, you look lovely in them, and they are part of you every day” and if you push back about her taking them off, I will deal with you quite sharply.
I was given a hard time about wearing glasses, I was the only one amongst my peers for the longest time who wore them, and they were thick-lensed and ugly until thank goodness people realised that children’s glasses could be fashionable and nice to look at too. I was teased and made to feel that wearing glasses made me look ugly or weird. It made me unhappy to wear them for the longest time, and I embraced wearing contact lenses as soon as I was allowed to because it meant not having to wear the glasses I felt made me look stupid.
I won’t have that for my daughter. She has to wear glasses, to be able to see. They are part of her, and she wears them just like she wears shoes or socks, or underpants because she needs to. They are lovely glasses, quite trendy and pretty actually, and they suit her face and she likes them, and she wears them happily.
I won’t let you tell her any different…
Please do not tell my child to take their glasses off. Unless it’s legally required, I will get fierce. She looks just as beautiful with them as she does without.
Ben is desperate to have glasses. He doesn’t need them but really wants them. So much so we bought him a pair of zero prescription ones from amazon. E looks gorgeous in her glasses and without them and you are absolutely right that nobody should make her feel otherwise. No one would tell a child with cerebral palsy ‘you’d look so much better standing up, why don’t you get out of your wheelchair?’
I think it is so wrong aswell, if someone wears glasses they shouldn’t be pictured without them as they’re part of them x
How annoying! Can’t believe they were saying take them off for a picture. Surely you’d want a child to look like themselves and glasses are part of her look. Obviously she needs them too. Can’t believe those ghastly blue things are coming back in – I was lumbered with them from 6 too.
She absolutely looks lovely and rocks that style magnificently. I’ve worn glasses from age 20 months to now (age 40) and agree that designs have come a long way since the brown, pink or blue horrific frames. I thought acceptance had as well but sad to hear it’s not quite got there yet. I hope she never feels any self doubt and remains the sunny, happy girl she appears to be. Xx
That’s really annoying. I wear glasses. Sometimes I wear lenses more because I hate the rain on my glasses. If my child has to wear them I’d tell her to wear them with pride and be really annoyed if anyone told her to take them off for a photo.
Gosh that’s terrible. I’ve never known anyone be asked if they want to take their glasses off for a photo.
Ugh! Why would someone say take your glasses off….That is just so wrong.
My fella wears glasses and has since he was a child. He tried contact lenses and I hated him without the glasses. He just looked odd. So glasses do make people look better. hehehe x
Wow! Didn’t know people could be so bold. I know adults who usually take their glasses off for photos but that’s their choice. To ask anyone to do it is really weird. I like your stance mama!
It definitely sends the wrong message! Thankfully not everyone thinks that way. I actually remember taking some self portraits of myself, when I was in high school, without my glasses and my best friend said ‘you don’t look like you, please don’t take any more photos without them’. That really boosted my confidence.
What utter idiots some people are. I’ve had to wear glasses since the age of 11 (short sight and astigmatism also) so I understand the issue. I do think things have improved since I was young and, having grown up in black NHS specs the choice of frames has increased greatly. I completely support your stance of dealing sharply with people who clearly have all the tact of a rhino and the emotional IQ of cheese. She’s a very pretty girl too – please tell her I said so.
I guess removing eyeglasses should not be encouraged. Every person is beautiful even if eyeglasses is on. I love how Jenny explained her experience about the way her photographs are.
OMG I wouldn’t even have thought about telling someone to take their glasses off for a photo. Especially now it’s seen as fashionable to wear glasses rather than something to be teased about like when I was younger. I hope she continues to love how she looks in them!
As a long time glasses wearer I know exactly where you are coming from. Even done to having to take my glasses off for my driving licence and passport photos, which I quite frankly look ridiculous on.
I don’t understand how some people think that you would want to be pictured without your glasses on if you wear them permanently? Our eldest wears glasses, and like most parents, we try to help him choose frames that complement his face and he actually looks really good in glasses.
(hubby helping out)
She looks great in her glasses. And they are part of her. I wear glasses too and I like them very much, partially because in my age they hide wrinkles a little bit;)
I have worn glasses since I was 16. I have a mix of pic with and without my glasses though. I like having some without them on x
I don’t even understand what these fools might be thinking. I’ve been wearing glasses since about 12 years old, and like you say, am glad that they’ve come a long way since then. I don’t know if my daughter will ever need them, but I’d have some words for anybody that made her feel self conscious if she does #TTB
I have taken so many pictures of kids in glasses I cannot imagine ever asking any of them to take them off! If she’d wanted to take them off then she would have done so, so why point it out!? I can totally understand why you feel annoyed because sometimes it only takes something very small like this to sow a seed of doubt in a young person’s mind. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond
oh that is bad, that would be the same as editing out someones wheel chair. I know a lot of friends when I take their photo say ‘let me take my glasses off first’ i hate that, no you wear glasses, that what’s you look like #tweensteensbeyond
Oh that’s awful of people. Yes, I’d be annoyed. I wonder if they even realise what they could be doing to a young person’s confidence by asking? #tweensteensbeyond
Glasses are such a big fashion accessory nowadays that people choose to wear them even if they don’t need to. That aside I have many friends as do my teens who like your daughter have to wear them and it is just part of them. No-one thinks twice about it. She looks beautiful in them and she should flaunt them. Thanks for linking with us again. #TweensTeensBeyond