Poonami…

This blog post’s alternative title is “if you have a baby, don’t ever leave the house without a spare nappy.”

Like, me you might live to regret that…

One of the basic rules of parenting a baby or toddler still in nappies, is that if you are leaving the house, for a trip out, you MUST pack spare nappies. I made the very basic rookie error of not packing a nappy one day, and paid the consequences for it!

Emily was was about 8 weeks old, and I was planning to meet a friend of a friend. We had arranged to meet locally. I was quite looking forward to it, and had everything packed and ready to go, but realised I had used our last nappy on Big Girl at her last change. I made a mental note to buy nappies after our coffee date. This, you would think, was all ok and sounded reasonable? But, really, it was a stupid move, on my part. Emily was one of those breastfed babies that could go 10 days between poos and often did. The first time she did this, I was alarmed, but was soon reassured by various sources that it was normal, and she would happily go on until about day 10, then a poo to rival all poos would appear, and then back to normal. I counted on my fingers and thought she was on day 9 of no poo, and stupidly figured we had at least one more day before the mega poo would appear so thought I would be safe to get nappies after my coffee meetup.

Oh how foolish I was…

So,  I am sitting in the cafe, with baby on my lap, then she  starts to squirm, (she is dressed in a beautiful two peiece outfit, trousers and a top, with a onsie underneath) So I stand her up on my lap, as I thought she had wind, and might be uncomfortable! The next thing I see is the look of horror on my friends face, as she says to me “there is something coming out of the bottom of the baby’s trousers!”

Yup, you guessed it! Emily had decided day 9 of her poop “cycle” was the time to let it all out, and when I use the word “poonami”, you will maybe get a picture of exactly how much poo was produced… It came out of the bottom of her trousers, and out of the top of her top. It literally went everywhere. Waves of the stuff, and I of course sat there like an idiot, holding this baby, with poo pouring from what seemed to be every angle, all over me, and my trousers. Fortunately, a very kind, Italian woman at the table next to us, leapt up, grabbed a heap of paper towels, and started to mop up. Of course, the whole café is looking at us by now, and one of the barista came over to help, and got a bin bag, more cloths and wipes and helped me to clear up too. It is hard to believe, that one small being, can excrete so much poo, in one go, but Big Girl, it seems was at volcanic capacity that day. At this point, I realised I had no nappies and burst into tears…

The Italian woman, bless her heart, spoke pretty good English, and immediately ran off to the nearest store (thankfully there were shops nearby) and came back brandishing a pack of nappies, wipes, and a change of clothes for Emily. She helped me pack all my stuff into the pushchair, and she carted me off to the nearest shop with a changing table and helped me to clean up and sort out the baby, who was as happy as a clam, with very empty bowels. The very kind Italian woman refused all offers from me to repay her for the clothes and nappies she had bought, and insisted on staying to help me. Unfortunately, I had poo all down my trousers, and shoes, and didn’t feel I could cope with shopping to buy news ones, so decided to get a taxi home. She walked me to the taxi, and waved me off. I never saw her again, but will never forget being rescued from what was a very messy situation. I will never leave the house without nappies again.

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Posted in Family Life and Parenting and tagged Humour, Parenting mistakes.

13 Comments

  1. I love this! My kids always did 4 a day, little one still does so I always knew I needed them everywhere. This was a Poonami indeed – magical phrasing Karen! It is one of those moments you imagine will never happen. The moral is clearly, always take nappies. Oh and I nannied for years too!

  2. Oh my god that’s a lot of poo!! Glad that woman was so lovely though! 🙂 Little z used to do huge up the back poos a lot and we’d forever be in the bath at 2am and things.

  3. Haha that’s very funny! I’ve not gone out without nappies before but there have been a few occasions where I’ve needed to buy the twins a whole new outfit after a poonami! (Great name). I am sure I was much more organized when I had Bunny! Lol. Thanks for making me laugh (at your expense!) Xx

  4. I’m spluttering all over my lunch with laughter (note to self – don’t read blog posts whilst eating lunch!). That is hilarious. And that Italian woman sounds distinctly like an angel to me! Thanks for the laugh (although my keyboard is telling me to stop typing and clear up!)

  5. I loved reading this ! It took me back to living in Brittany with my eldest (now almost 7) and she like your LO used to store her poo up for about the same amount of days. I was only ever caught out once in the supermarche but luckily did have nappies. Hubby and I both had to strip her down in the baby change – it was always a 2 man job ! We used to call them “Power Poos” and yes, it’s incredible how much poo a small breastfed being can store up and then produce. I think I’d have avoided Starbucks for a couple of years too if it had been me. I felt your pain xx

  6. I’m afraid I always find toilet humour UTTERLY hilarious and this is no exception. I love the phrase poonami and will never forget it!! I shall be hosting a BritMums Carnival in a couple of weeks and will be asking for funny and/or embarrassing stories. Hope I can use this one? Thanks for hosting today 🙂 xx

  7. That made me laugh! Must have been absolutely awful at the time, but it’s one of those stories which will keep your whole family laughing for the rest of their lives. I was also very moved by the lady helping you out like that. Thanks for sharing this story!

  8. Pingback: You've Been Famed! The BritMums Carnival - Verily, Victoria Vocalises....

  9. I know exactly what you mean about breastfed babies going without poo for over a week and then producing a poonami. Thankfully we never had a similar experience in public, poor you. And what a blessing that Italian lady happened to be. A great story!

  10. Bless the kindness of strangers. You made me laugh (in a nice way). Am enjoying all the funny poo posts today (just popped over from Britmums carnival!).

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