Trying again

Before I continue with this post I need to ask for a couple of things…

I don’t need opinions on my age or that we have two healthy children and I need to just get over it.

I don’t need medical or nutritional or any advice on what we need to do or not do to make this work or happen.

Now we’ve got that clear, I’ll carry on…

We are trying again.

In January this year, we had a brief few days where we thought I might miraculously be pregnant. Sadly it was a chemical pregnancy and not meant to be. I told three people who were very gently supportive.

It made me realise, I am not done. I am not resolved. I’m not ready to say that chapter is closed and let’s get a puppy instead.

My body clearly tried to do something, and it gave me the faintest sliver of hope.

Foolish hope, let’s face it. I’m 41. My body has never really liked being pregnant or getting pregnant but I’m allowing myself hope. It’s my hope. I know others around me don’t see it that way. I’ve given up caring what anyone else thinks.

So, six months more. We are allowing that. My doctor is surprisingly supportive and is allowing me to rely on him to guide me though.

Yes, I’m old, yes, I should just get over myself and be done.

I can’t. January made me realise that.

So, here we go again.

Medication. Supplements (above is folic acid, iron, vitamin D, vitex and flax seed oil) and progesterone here we come.

It may not work. It probably won’t. But I need one more try before I close this door.

So if you are the praying type, please pray. If you have words of encouragement I will be glad to hear them. If you feel like reading along, I’m going to be very honest and raw in the next few months, and it would be nice to know I’m not alone.

Here goes nothing…