Let’s talk about self care and having a self care routine that actually works. No, not the Instagram-worthy bubble baths and overpriced candles (though those are lovely if that’s your jam). I’m talking about the real, messy, sometimes boring stuff that keeps you from falling apart when life feels like it’s held together with duct tape and a prayer. As a busy working mum, who sometimes struggles to find time for me, but has to make the effort or I know it won’t happen, here’s how I would build a full self care routine that actually works.
Self care gets a bad rap sometimes. People think it’s indulgent or selfish, especially when you’ve got a million other things on your plate. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re running on fumes, snapping at everyone, or feeling like you’re barely holding it together, it’s time to stop and figure out how to refill your tank.
Here’s a self care routine you can actually stick to—because let’s be real, if it’s complicated or feels like another chore, none of us are doing it.
Step 1: Start With the Basics
First things first: are you drinking enough water? Eating actual meals? Sleeping for more than five minutes at a time?
I know it sounds ridiculously simple, but these are the building blocks of self-care. When you’re frazzled, stressed, or overwhelmed, it’s easy to forget the basics. Suddenly, it’s 3 PM, and you realize all you’ve had is coffee and the crust of your kid’s toast.
- Hydrate: Keep a water bottle handy and sip throughout the day. Bonus points if you throw in some lemon or mint and pretend you’re at a spa.
- Eat regular meals: Not snacks scavenged from your kid’s plate—real food that fuels you. Meal prep can help, but even a sandwich and some fruit is better than nothing.
- Sleep: Easier said than done, I know. But aim for a consistent bedtime and ditch the scrolling before bed. Even an extra 30 minutes makes a difference.
Step 2: Carve Out Time for Yourself
Here’s where most of us roll our eyes and say, “Sure, I’ll make time for myself in between laundry, work, and keeping tiny humans alive.” But here’s the thing: you don’t need hours of free time. Small, intentional breaks can do wonders.
- Morning moments: If you’re an early riser (or can bribe yourself to get up 10 minutes earlier), start your day with something that feels good. A quiet coffee, a quick stretch, or even just sitting in silence can set the tone for the day.
- Midday reset: Step outside for a breath of fresh air, do a five-minute meditation, or dance like a maniac to your favorite song.
- Evening wind-down: Create a bedtime ritual that helps you relax—reading, journaling, or a hot shower can help signal to your brain that it’s time to chill.
Step 3: Move Your Body (But Keep It Fun)
Exercise is a fantastic form of self-care, but it doesn’t have to look like sweaty gym sessions or running marathons. The key is finding something you enjoy.
- Love dancing? Crank up the music and have a kitchen disco.
- Prefer something calming? Try yoga or stretching.
- Have zero time? Do squats while brushing your teeth or a quick walk around the block.
Moving your body isn’t about punishment or perfection; it’s about feeling good. Even a little bit can boost your mood and energy.
Step 4: Do Something Just for You
When was the last time you did something purely because you enjoyed it? Not because it was productive, necessary, or for someone else—but just for you.
- Read a book: Not for work or school, but one that you actually enjoy.
- Pick up a hobby: Knitting, painting, baking, puzzles—anything that brings you joy.
- Indulge a guilty pleasure: Watch that trashy reality show, scroll TikTok, or order your favorite takeout.
The point is to remind yourself that you’re a person, not just a caregiver, employee, or walking to-do list.
Step 5: Connect With Others
Sometimes, a self care routine means asking for help or leaning on your support system. Whether it’s a quick chat with a friend, a date night with your partner, or joining an online community, connection matters.
- Call or text someone you trust: Even if it’s just to vent or share a funny meme.
- Say yes to help: If someone offers to babysit, run an errand, or help with chores, take them up on it.
- Seek professional support: There’s no shame in talking to a therapist or counselor if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Step 6: Let Go of Perfectio
Here’s the kicker: self-care doesn’t have to look perfect. Some days, it might mean a long walk and a green smoothie. Other days, it’s eating chocolate in your car while hiding from your family. Both are valid.
Give yourself permission to take shortcuts, skip the guilt, and focus on what you need in the moment.
Step 7: Make It a Habit
The hardest part of self care is consistency so a self care routine really helps. It’s easy to let it slide when life gets busy, but that’s exactly when you need it most. Start small—one or two things a day—and build from there. Also, get your spouse or partner, if you can, to hold you accountable for looking after yourself and make sure you are able to get time for self care. A supportive partner will want you to have time to look after you and will be happy to facilitate that.
Remember, self-care isn’t a one-time fix. It’s an ongoing process of checking in with yourself and giving yourself grace. Because you deserve to feel good, even in the chaos.
So, go ahead. Light the candle, drink the coffee, take the nap. Your to-do list will still be there when you’re done, and you’ll be better equipped to tackle it. You’ve got this.