I posted this status on Facebook this week. We have had a particularly tough few weeks, with my boy not sleeping that well, and also his behavior has been a bit harder to manage. He is tired, it has been a long 1/2 of term, and he gets like this. We are all tired and feeling the strain. It was a particularly bad morning as you can see below…
“We’ve been up since 6am, had a meltdown over pocket money, getting dressed, breakfast choices, and several things I’ve not had capacity to try and interpret. I’m hiding in the bathroom, clutching my coffee (because hot water & lemon or some horribly healthy herbal tea just doesn’t have the same kick ass effect, I’m afraid) trying to remind myself to enjoy every moment of parenting and not to forget they’ll leave home one day and I’ll miss this… #thissarcasticpostwassponsoredbytasssimo #lackofsleepmakesmeverycranky”
I got a fair number of “yes, us too, lets have more coffee!” Type responses from a few of my fellow exhausted parents, who are amazing parents but who I know are also finding things a bit challenging.
I try to be positive on Facebook, or at least most of the time, because who wants to see another whinge about lack of sleep when you can admire someone’s lunch, baby photos, cute kittens or wedding albums instead, but occasionally I feel the need to break out the honest, reality based parenting post.
I find the annoying, smug, guilt tripping telling me to “enjoy all the moments of parenting, even the bad ones, because one day you won’t have them” and “remember you are #soblessed because your kids might not sleep but parenting is just amazing” posts extremely irritating at the best of times, and have seen a renewed rash of them this past few weeks, and as I opened my Facebook (whilst sat in the bathroom, hiding from my little angels) another one hit my feed.
You know what? I adore my kids. I would literally give my life for them, I am proud of them, I care for them, I parent them. We have some amazing times, and most of the time, the good far outweighs the bad. but sometimes there are some really stretching, hard parenting moments and being told that I am blessed and I should relish in them, because hey, some day they will leave home and I will miss them is just stupid. Of course I will miss them, of course I will be sad when one day they are all grown up and don’t need me to come into the bathroom to get the toilet roll that apparently was one foot too far to reach, or be shouted at because apparently I buttered the toast wrong. or when I have been awake every two hours and up for the day with a cranky child, and said child is really not cooperating when he needs to be dressed and ready for school, or when I find poo on MY bath towel and I know it isn’t mine but that does not mean I have to enjoy them.
I cannot skip around singing to myself about how blessed I am all the time. Sometimes there are moments where parenting makes me want to cry, and not tears of joy. That’s ok. It’s reality and normal. I don’t have to relish them, or guilt trip myself because I want to run away to the local Travel Lodge for a decent night’s sleep and to be alone in a clean bathroom for more than 5 minutes. I know all you people out there posting these well meaning, remind us knackered mums and dads out there how lucky we are posts to try and inspire and help us, but really, they are just a load of drivel and they don’t help. So stop. It doesn’t make me feel better when I am night 5 of being woken more than twice, if I am lucky. I love my kids more than life itself but I do NOT have to enjoy every moment of parenting, thanks very much.
I am off to clean up my Facebook feed, if all you post is happy kitten photos and pictures of your food, you are safe… 😉
This cranky, not had enough sleep post was not sponsored by Tassimo, but frankly, it should have been.
I can definitely relate to this, I sometimes feel very guilty that I am not enjoying every second, especially when my timeline is filled with ‘enjoy every moment’ mantras! #effitfriday
haha! ‘poo in your towel that isn’t yours’ literally had me spit my coffee out with laughter!
I get what your saying.. I’m the first one to tell the world what an arsehole my kid has been.. don’t hide it, there is no such thing as the perfect child. they push our buttons, all of them at once sometimes, and the urge to tell them to ‘do one’ is high at the best of times lol
honest post, and I loved it! #effitfriday
Yep I agree with you on this one. It is not useful or right to make out that life is perfect. Life is hard and the reality of life can suck at times and we should be able to share that and if we all shared it then it might make life a bit easier and perhaps we wouldn’t beat ourselves up as much when life isn’t going to plan #effitfriday
Good gods I hate that phrase too. It’s so smug and meaningless. If you can’t identify the bad then how do you know when it’s good?
It feels like yet another way for people to make you feel bad for being human. I handled a tantrum badly today. I did not treasure that moment. I noted it and thought about a better strategy for next time than repeating with increasing levels of fury “WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT?!” but I did not treasure it.
It certainly has been a long term – I’m so glad it’s half term now!! #effitfriday
I feel like this at the minute it’s been a testing few months. Like you, I love and adore my kids, but the days that the baby is velcro baby and the threenager is turning feral. Well those days need to be sponsored by something stronger that tassimo…..