It’s the 14th of February and around the world many people are celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s a day of fun, joy, romance and love for some, and for others it can be a disapointing and painful day.
For us, in reality it’s just another day. Both of us are working, and the children are home for the school break. There isn’t really time or capacity for a romantic meal, a fancy night out and our budget doesn’t stretch to expensive and extravegant gifts. We will get each other a little gift each, and we will have dinner together (if the children will cooperate and go to bed and leave us in peace, they don’t really do romance!) and that will be that, really.
We have been married for nearly 17 years, together for almost 19, and have known each other for almost 22 years. We know each other well, and we have been through a lot together. I don’t really have any burning lists of things he needs to get for me. I wouldn’t say no to an expensive bunch of flowers, or a fancy jewellary. Whilst the idea of a meal out in a glamorous restaurant sounds nice in principal, the reality is dressing up on a week night, going out, sorting a babysitter, and getting the kids in bed on time, is more stress than I can really face.
I don’t need proclamations of love, or cards, although I know he’s got me one, and I know the children have made me something (not much escapes me, round here) and there will be chocolate in there somewhere.
I am very lucky that in our day to day life, I have a partner in life who loves and supports me all the time. I don’t need one day in the year for him to express that. The man gets up every day and makes me coffee. He puts up with me in what is almost a permanently sleep deprived grumpy state, and he lives with the two cats I have brought home to add to our chaos, without much complaint.
I truly don’t want anything for Valentines Day, I don’t need anything. I need what I already have and that’s just what I need.
Ok, that’a a lie. I would love a holiday to a beach resort, I would love a house that cleans itself, and doesn’t need me to be constantly running around after it, I would love to look ten years younger and at least a size thinner but sadly none of those are likely to manifest today.
In all seriousness. I am content. I don’t want anything. I don’t need anything.
I am not sharing this to sound smug and annoying. I just am the type of person that thinks if you can’t see love in your life in the ordinary days and moments, then a day where fuss is made isn’t really worth the effort. I think it’s nice to have fuss, but my point is that if the people in your life who love you can’t make you feel that way when it’s not Valentine’s Day, then what is the point?
I am not anti Valentine’s Day, but behind all the expense, and fuss, what is the real meaning behind it? For me, it’s mostly just another day, and I will be lucky to have my dinner cooked for me, and maybe a child free dinner, and really, I wouldn’t want anything else…