I had a bit of a set to with someone the other day.
They meant well. They were trying to be kind, and I am NOT saying I don’t want people to pray or wish me well on this last attempt at the rollercoaster that is getting pregnant for us, but I do need to say something.
Me thinking positive will not get me pregnant and I get tired of people telling me this. I don’t mean in the “be positive, be hopeful, have faith” kind of way, I mean more the “you can wish yourself pregnant” or “if you get rid of negative thoughts” or “deal with your issues” you will get pregnant and that it’s all in my head.
My body has a hormone deficiency which makes it difficult for me to stay pregnant, and in the early stages of pregnancy I am at risk of miscarriage and have to take hormones to stay pregnant. I need to ingest or inject hormones, for part of my cycle, and then if we get a positive pregnancy test and blood tests indicate that my body is accepting and trying to keep the pregnancy, then I continue to take those hormones until the developed placenta can take over. My body doesn’t like being pregnant or staying pregnant without this help. NO amount of wishful thinking, cleansing my aura, dealing with my past and negative life experiences, twinkling my chakras or thinking happy thoughts will make or keep me pregnant. I have a BIOLOGICAL issue that cannot be fixed by happy thoughts and the older I get the less inclined my body is to cooperate, no matter how much I smile and tell it to be good. It’s likely this is an issue that I have had since my body started puberty, we will never know.
People who think that getting pregnant is as easy as thinking happy thoughts and all that other nonsense get short shift from me. I will not tolerate being told that “if you just relax and think positive it will happen” or suggestions as to how I can shift my mindset to make my body accept a pregnancy.
I will happily accept all the good thoughts, prayers, positive encouragement, support and kind words and positive thinking out there, but I am not relying on it to make me pregnant. I need all that to keep me going whilst I inject myself with hormones, schedule sex with the husband, pee on sticks, go for blood tests and nervously watch for the minuscule symptoms that might indicate that this time, the treatment has worked. My body won’t get pregnant on good wishes alone, my mind needs those to keep me sane whilst I ride this rollercoaster, but my body itself needs all the scientific medical help it can get… I can do both!
*This blog post is brought to you off the back off a failed cycle. I am ok. We have been sick, stressed, and tired, and to be honest, I would have been highly surprised if it had been a success this month. On we go, to a fresh month… I am not done yet! 😉 *
Gosh, that all sounds really stressful and difficult, so sorry to hear you’re having to go through that. While my own fertility issues were nothing like as difficult as yours I completely agree with your post. I was told by my GP to ‘just relax’ – this was when I went to her because I was only having a period every three months, which unsurprisingly was making conception a bit tricky. She repeated it again a few months later. A year after I first went to her I finally got the medication I needed to regulate my cycle – and got pregnant straight away. Funny that. People should accept that we know what’s happening with our bodies! I really hope next cycle brings happy news for you x