When there are no words…

A couple of weeks ago, I got news I knew was coming. It was expected so it wasn’t shocking. It still knocked me hard though.

A friend of mine, who I have known for a long time, died.

We knew, she knew. We all knew it was going to happen. The miracle we all hoped for wasn’t to be. She fought hard, she put up with the hell that is a radical mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and came out smiling, thinking she’d won. Only for the beast known as breast cancer to come back, in other parts of her body and finally she had no fight left.

She leaves a gap that cannot be filled in many lives, and two children not dissimilar in age to my own. Having lost my own mother and watched my brother grieve still as a child, this part hurts too, because they’ve lost their mum and I know how much they need her.

My heart is sore. I have no words. I can’t explain or rationalise why it happened to her. She was a good person, a strong, kind, loving, generous person with a faith much stronger than mine. She didn’t deserve this. Her family didn’t deserve to loose her.

Breast cancer is something I hate. It’s hit my family before and this is the second friend I’ve had fall to its clutches.

It’s my birthday this month.

I’ve decided I want no fuss, I want no cards or flowers, I’m not having a party.

If you want to do something for me, do something that will mean more to me than a card or a gift.

Please make a donation to Breast Cancer UK. Even if it’s only a couple of pounds, that will help.

I wasn’t able to go home to Scotland to say goodbye to my friend. I will be going to the celebration of her life, which actually falls on my birthday. I can’t think of a better way to spend a day, remembering a very brave friend.

Thanks for reading. Please hug those you love. Life is short.

There are no words…

Posted in I am not just "mum" and tagged cancer, death, Grief, loss.


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