I make it no secret that I struggle hard with anxiety. I used to try and hide it but now I don’t. Anxiety and me are, for now, bedfellows and I am working on not letting it win. Some days are a victory and some days are hard lessons learned.
Someone (who gets me, and understands) sent me this recently.
I don’t know who to credit the image to, so if you know, please do let me know and I will of course do so.
This basically sums up the contents of my head and what anxiety in general looks like for me.
A type A personality, a people pleaser, bent by society and it’s desire to have me prove myself and my own extremely high expectations of myself.
I am a work in progress. It’s hard undoing years of habit and bad practice and mental discipline that’s damaged me.
I realise that my struggle and being open about it is hard to deal with for some, I know I’m a disappointment to people in my life who don’t fully see the why and the what around my mental health.
I share because it’s cathartic for me, therapeutic in fact and also because it may be helpful to others.
I won’t live my life in a box made by others that somehow I’ve got stuck in. What you see and what you don’t see are very different.
One day at a time. Not broken, just very tired and bruised and trying to find me.