Mum standards…

The alternative title of this post could be – When you and your tweenager disagree on what the word “tidy” means and what a tidy bedroom should look like… 

The tweenager and I are having a difference of opinion, the first of many, I have no doubt, and it’s one that I don’t think we will solve, in a hurry. 

We have a problem. 

It’s called her bedroom. Also fondly known as “the pit”, or “the space that Mum refuses to enter”. 

The issue is, frankly, is that her idea of what consitutes tidy, and mine are, shall we say VASTLY different, and we cannot agree on the standard it needs to be. I would like it to be tidy, so that the door can be left open, and that I don’t feel terrfied when I walk past it. She thinks it’s her space and that she should be able to leave it how she likes. I object to sending her in there with clean, neatly folded laundry to put away, to then find it dumped on the floor. (the translation of “please put your laundry away?” seems to have been lost somewhere, apparently)

She feels that I am being unreasonable, and I feel that it’s my house, and whilst I get that I need to relax and understand that my level of tidy isn’t the same as my tweenagers, I should at least be able to walk into her room without worrying about what I might trip over… I would like to see the carpet occasionally. I help her to tidy it, and she also does make attempts to tidy it, but somehow, it’s a huge source of irritation to me, and to her because of course, she thinks I am being horrible, nagging her to tidy her room…

So, next week, she is going to write me a blog post, sharing her thoughts on how tidy her room needs to be, and probably, no doubt, sharing with you how mean and unreasonable her mother is, and then the following week, I am going to write a rebuttal blog post. It could get heated… πŸ˜‰

In the meantime, if you are the parent of a tweenager/teenager, I would love to hear how you manage this minefield and what standards you hold and how you negotiate things in your house and give me some tips on how to handle this? 

This is not her room, she wouldn’t let me take a photo of it, in it’s current state (which proves my point, no?) but you get the picture? 

Oh, and I KNOW my father will be reading this, and I am pretty sure I will get a message from him, when he does, reminding me that my own mother and I had this issue, I kind of feel that this is life’s revenge getting me back for that, somehow… πŸ˜‰

After the Playground
Posted in Family Life and Parenting and tagged family life, parenting a tweenager, parenting teenagers, teenagers, tidy your room.


  1. I’ve taken a stronger approach on this one lately. She gets 3 warnings then I go in with a bin bag. Now we rarely get past the second warning. #teentweenbeyond

  2. I leave my two teenagers to it all week…until Friday. Friday is my house cleaning day so I insist that they tidy their rooms on Thursday night: stuff for recycling taken down to the recycling boxes (instead of being left to lurk in the corner); glasses/mugs brought down to the kitchen (to prevent new life forms sprouting in them); the five pairs of trousers, three hoodies and four t-shirts hung up (so I can physically move the chair they are draped over) and the shoes/socks/shin-pads/general crap be picked up from the floor (so I can see the carpet to hoover it.) By Saturday evening their rooms are back to their ‘normal’ but at least I know that for one day a week they’ve been spotless! :-)#TweensTeensBeyond

  3. Standards differ in my house. Daughter no 1 has a bedroom that is the neatest room in the house. Daughters 2 and 3 live in tips. My bedroom is pretty dodgy but to be fair the rest of the house is okay. My approach is as follows. If I have to come and help you find things in your bedroom because it is in such a state – it’s time to start clearing it out! Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond

  4. I feel your pain! It is a different level of tidy. What doesn’t help is the amount of toot that they hang on to. I do close the door but we insist it’s done once a week and that includes Hoover and dusting. It’s pocket money dependent too. It will get worse I know. I look forward to seeing the blog post. Me – I was terribly untidy as a teen and as young adult. Not the point though is it!!!?. Thanks for joining us at #teenstweensbeyond

  5. I am OCD re tidiness and nag my teens daily about their rooms. My eldest teen hates mess and will tidy his room even if it involves putting all clothes including relatively clean ones in his laundry basket. He is however guilty of leaving glasses all over the house. My youngest is horrific and I will often go in her room and find stuff everywhere and have to rant at her to sort it out. 24 hours is the longest I can leave it because mess is one of my pet hates so it is a case of me saying this is my house and you will do as I say whilst you live here! Scary mum! To be honest I don’t think anyone really gets it until you leave home and have to manage it all by yourself without being nagged. Can’t wait to read the posts! #TweensTeensBeyond

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