Nope, I won’t fake it just to make other people feel comfortable.

Other people’s happiness and comfort is not my priority. 

When I say that I don’t mean I don’t care. I am not saying I don’t want people to be comfortable and happy. 

What I mean is that I am not going to lie, pretend, fake it, put on a mask, pretend the bad bits aren’t there, because other people are less than comfortable with anything other than a saccharine sweet, idealistic, social media perfect idea of how life should be. 

I am tired of putting on a brave face in order to make other people feel ok. 

I am tired of having to present things in a certain way so that when I am asked I come up with the answer other people want to hear and not actually what I want or need to say. 

I am tired of having to put on “a brave face” when people in our lives only want to see the bits they can handle, and want to pretend the bits they can’t handle or don’t want to understand aren’t actually there. 

I am tired of being brushed off, and told “you are strong, you are capable, you can manage this”.

I am tired of having to bite my tongue. 

I am tired of the looks of dismay when someone tries to input into our life but because they think they have the answers before they have even taken a look at the life we lead, and then get offended when we push back because what we want and need is not actually what they think we want and need. 

I am tired of people judging from the outside. 

I am tired. Life is complicated enough without having to pretend to keep other people happy. 

I will not fake it any more. I came back from our holiday last week with a new perspective and I am not going to accommodate the comforts of other people at the expense of my own mental health. It is not my job to keep people in their comfort zone. 

I am not faking it until I make it any more. Brutal honesty comes into play. I am not going to lie or put on a social media show just to keep the peace and make other people feel better. 

I share the realities of parenting, life, mental health, and other things, from an honest perspective. It would seem this bothers some people who don’t like to be told anything but the saccharine sweet fakeness that looks good on social media, but isn’t applicable to real life. 

I will not pretend that life is all rosy and flowery just to keep people around me happy in their little bubble. 

If you don’t like what I share, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps it’s either time for you to realise that you can’t relate to me unless you accept our reality, or maybe you need to think about why it makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps it’s hitting nerves too sore to face, so you want to shut me up? 

There is a song by Billy Joel, and part of the lyrics go…

“I never said you had to offer me a second chance
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
I still belong
Don’t get me wrong
And you can speak your mind
But not on my time”

If you aren’t comfortable with that. 

The door is open…


Posted in Mental Health and tagged Anxiety, keeping it rea, mental-health, walk a mile in our dhoes.