What if I want to just be “average”?

All over social media, all over the internet, every self help book you read, every life coach promoting their programme, every event you go to, tells us we need to “dream big”, “set high goals”, “make more of ourselves” “be the dream”, “shine like a star” (I could go on, but you get the drift?) and tells me that somehow, I need to be making a splash, making myself seen, being the light, leading the way, trailblazing. But what if I don’t want to. What if I want to be just average? Is that wrong?

You see, I run a business. I run a charity. I am sort of “known”. I am not famous or high profile, but in my own little corner of the world, I fit in. I have had a few blog posts hit high numbers and people vaguely know me as the “blogger with the grumpy black cat who writes about lack of sleep”.

We tell women that they should be doing it all, having it all, hitting the roof and beyond. We hold women to some standards that mean we are constantly striving to “be the best”.

I probably should be setting myself high bars, targets to achieve, earning loads of money from my blog, becoming well known. I probably could dress fancier and attend loads of events, circulate myself in all the “right places”. I could write inspriational memes and share them on social media and set myself the task of being a “bright light”.

The thing is, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be held accountable for some standard that is partly crazy and unrealistic. It’s also unfair.

I don’t want to be special. I don’t want to be the shining light. I don’t want to be setting the standard for the best. I don’t want to have to work so damn hard to prove myself to everyone else and myself that I am amazing.

I just want to be average. Boring, in fact.

I want to do a good job at what I do, then go home. I want to enjoy normal. I don’t want to have to be striving to prove myself or to be trying to reach the ceiling that lets face it, no one can ever get to, and if we did, would it really make us happy.

I want to just do normal. Be an ordinary wife, an ordinary mother, write a blog that a few people enjoy, share my journey and be a voice that’s out there but hopefully not one that is shouting so hard with a need to prove myself over others. I want to not live a life trying to fill gaps and needs in order to prove that I am the best, or trying to be the best.

I don’t want to be a firework, or show the world how amazing I am. Because I am not. What’s more, I am ok with that. I am actually fairly boring and normal (other than my love of cats, and all things pink and a penchant for anything unicorn related) and I like it that way. I don’t want to or need to prove myself to anyone, whatsoever, and I certainly don’t have to prove anything to myself.

So, I won’t join your women’s empowerment groups, I don’t want to follow “life coaches” on social media. I don’t need to be told how to “change the game, to change my life” (in fact the only thing I need to change right now are the sheets on our bed, and the cat litter) and I certainly don’t need to be radical or or in front of the pack.

There is nothing wrong with average, normal, some may say boring. I am happy to leave the reaching for the stars to other people. I am slowly realising that happy isn’t a place, or things, or awards or likes on social media for powerful quotes.

Life can be ok, being average. I think it might just work fine for me and the way the world works, frankly, as much as we don’t want to admit it, the average and normal people are who get most of the shizz done, go home, and are fine with that…

I am ok with being average, in fact, it suits me fine…


Posted in Mental Health and tagged It's ok to be average, mental health awareness week, mental-health.


  1. I totally agree that not every woman or person for that matter needs or should be that shining star, doing it all, in the spotlight. On the other hand, I think small meaningful goals can be just as important to some people as those big goals are to other people. Goals like yelling less, getting healthier, making time for the people you love. I think everyone should have goals, but they don’t have to be to take over the world. Just things you want for yourself. I am definitely happy with my life and family, but I also know there are areas I want to improve.

  2. This is so true in my case also. I don’t aim to be a star, I am so happy right now just doing what I do. I get some lovely opportunities from my work but I don’t want to be bigger!

  3. There is nothing wrong with being average and there is something really positive about that. Also I see people as individuals anywhere and not in terms of being known or successful – also appeared success isn’t always the case

    Laura x

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