I try to take motherhood and being a parent in my stride, and I admit that I take it as it comes and learn as I go, but sometimes there are things that wind me up. As the parent of a child with SPD (sensory processing disorder), there are a few things that get my goat and annoy me. I thought I would share those today.
Changes in routine not instigated by us/me.
Routine and consistency are very important to a child with Sensory Processing Disorder. We are working on him learning to cope with change and to be able to manage things that don’t always go to plan, but when you have planned life around things and have a routine, and that changes without any consultation, then it’s hard for us to juggle that and it takes its toll. Changing the time of a class, or dropping a new teacher out of the blue happens, and it’s annoying for any parent but it’s harder to manage when your child is routine dependent. (This week our gym class has announced the timetable will change totally and we will have a new teacher, at very short notice. That has not gone down well and gym class is part of his “needs to attend” extracurricular activities.
Try and override my parenting.
If you try and override my parenting, you will find it doesn’t go down well. If I say “this isn’t working for us/him” and I don’t expect to be talked down to or told that I am wrong or for you to try and go round me. He is my kid. I know him pretty well. If I make a parenting decision or I am doing something you don’t agree with, then you need to respect that. If I say that my child doesn’t want to do something or isn’t doing something, then you need to respect that.
Do not tell me off for disciplining my child.
There are occasions when I have to step in and deal with my child. He is a 9-year-old boy. He does things 9-year-old boys do, and he can be cheeky, naughty, rude and sometimes, frankly, he can behave like a bit of a brat. He also has sensory processing disorder. However just because he has that doesn’t make him immune to a standard we hold him to. We have grace, we know he is only a child, but we do expect the basics and if he is not managing that I will step in. Please don’t tell me not to/talk me down to try and dilute what I am doing or tell me how to do things differently. Children with SPD need boundaries and guidelines too.
Do not tell me “well he seems ok”.
Most of the time he is ok. Most of the time he’s a bright, cheeky, witty, straight-talking, happy chap. But sometimes life really is harder for him to deal with and just because you can’t see that, or you haven’t witnessed it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen and what you see is often surface. I have learned as a parent and working with other parents that it’s not my place to dismiss what another family or child is going through because it’s not my experience, and I expect other people to do the same for me/us.
These things will wind me up if you try them. I go from being Mrs. Nice to being “Mrs. Pretty Fierce”. You might mean well, but meaning well doesn’t always go over well.
Let me parent my kid. If I need your advice or help I will ask 😉
You can also read what NOT to say to a child with SPD too.