Lockdown diaries week 2 and this is really it. We shared our first week of Lockdown 3 diaries last week and we keep calm and carry on.
We are back in it.. The whole of the UK in one form or another is now under “stay at home” rules for the duration. Some people think it’s for a few weeks, I am inclined to be aiming for March because we feel that if we set the time in our head as too short, it will be harder when it actually is longer. We have learned from the last long lockdown that it’s easier to have a long term goal rather than focus on waiting for a quicker end.
Last week we shared week 1 and now we move into week 2 and it’s done and we are in the thick of it, and trying to carry on.
It has felt harder this week, I think because we don’t have an end date and the media and politicians like to say stuff, move goal posts and everyone is contradicting each other.
I also learned on Sunday night of last week that an ex colleague and friend of mine has died from Covid. She was a nurse, with children the same age as mine, and the same age as me. It hits me hard, it hits many people in our community of friends hard. It’s easy to be numb to numbers and death when it’s not someone you know, but when it is someone you do know, it’s like a hard slap in the face followed by a punch in the stomach that takes your breath away and winds you hard. I am still processing that now.
Monday – the week starts and we feel ok. The teen has fully settled into online school and one of the things I am eternally grateful for, is that her school have really been amazing and have supported her and we have been able to know that she is at least accessing education and doing ok. The boy and I carry on homeschool. Violin lessons are online, which were strange to start with, but we are used to that now.
Tuesday – Sleep is a little shaky this week. The boy doesn’t do change well, and to be honest, neither do I.
Wednesday – our childcare bubble day, and my turn to keep two homeschooled boys busy for a few hours. We do this so we as a working parent family with no access to school provision for our boys, and another family, in a similar space, can have some working time. It’s allowed and another thing we are grateful for. We go out for a walk, despite the grim weather and I keep them busy with some activities around homeschool and they are allowed to play Minecraft too.
Thursday – silly mistake, we don’t make any effort to get out for fresh air and exercise, for anyone and we pay for it with lack of sleep. I manage to do some grocery shopping for a friend who is isolating and shielding and can’t go food shopping.
Friday – no sleep for the boy or I, as a result of no exercise yesterday. I am tired, tearful and feel like “this is really it” again. Long weeks, no social life, no seeing anyone, nowhere to go, and the constant worry of Covid. It’s a bit of a mind bender. Grief, tiredness and frustration make me not a very nice person. I actually take a sleeping tablet tonight, before I go to bed. I don’t take them often and prefer not to, but decide I need the help to try and stop my mind from buzzing and to get some sleep. The teen’s teacher drops some school book off for her, from school and tells me she doesn’t think schools will be back after half term in Febuary, which is something I had already settled in my head, but still not fun to hear someone else say,
Saturday – when I am unsettled and my anxiety is high I clean and declutter. My family tolerates this, but even they admit that there are bits of the house that need a good sorting out and we work hard to do some housework. We send the kids to their rooms to watch movies with popcorn so the husband and I can eat dinner alone. It works, despite the fact we are both tired.
Sunday – ending the week and sliding into our next week with not so much a bang but a kind of stagger. I actually quite like Sundays, I cook us lunch, we do a big family walk and we play games and try and relax. They are cathartic and calm, mostly.
Week 2 done, this is really it. We carry on.
How are you doing?