One more time: No Regrets!

Last week, my Small Boy, who seems very small, in his uniform, trotting off with his book bag, started Nursery. This was a bigger milestone, for us, than it would seem. 6 months ago, we were in a pretty bad place. Small had some very evident sensory issues, and his behaviour and ability to cope in certain situations were very limited. When we received a confirmed diagnosis, that he had underlying chronic ear infections and needed grommets (after fighting the system and NHS protocol to get the answers)  and then went forward with the surgical procedure to have grommets inserted in his ears, we were at our wits end. He had been assessed to see if he was on the autistic spectrum, we had consulted  various specialists  in sleep and child behaviour, and we knew that if it wasn’t his ears causing his issues, then we were really at a loss. We didn’t know how he would cope with nursery, noise, lots of children, being pushed into a routine not familiar, and the many new and overwhelming sensory aspects that he would have to experience. If he had been born when he was supposed to (he was almost a week late) he would have started nursery in April of this year, and I really don’t think would have coped. Thankfully (I say that now, at the time, when I was overdue and uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have said it) he was born a week late, and we had a grace period in which we found out what his problem was, and were able to resolve it.I truly believe him going to nursery in April, with his ears being such a problem, and sleep and behaviour being so difficult, would have been a disaster. He is now happy, healthy and behaving like a normal 3 year old boy. He sleeps (almost normally, we still have the odd bad night, but these are far more bearable, because they are so few and normal for a child his age) and he went off to nursery, so confident and assured, and more importantly, is coping. He has had a wobble or two, and has been very tired, at the end of each day, but nothing unexpected, or normal, when compared to his peers. I have had people question our decision. Why didn’t we wait it out, why put him through the risk of anaesthetic, for such a small procedure, why did we make so much fuss when we finally found out that it was his ears, something so small and easily fixed. We have been criticised for going the medical route, when all else failed, because in other people’s minds, an operation, and it’s risks, and our motivation for doing so, seemed almost selfish. I am known for being a bit of a mad hippy, embracing a lot of alternative and non medical routes, so I think a lot of my friends and social circle were surprised when we opted for such a choice. We did it for this….Boy’s sleep was awful, he

No regretsedit

We could have waited, as per the NHS protocol,  ridden out another year or so of sleep deprivation, sat around while he struggled with speech issues (now, almost self resolving, now that he can hear properly, and isn’t in constant discomfort) and behaviour and anxiety issues, and tried to cope with nursery, or we could have kept him home, and not sent him to nursery, and then flung him in at the deep end of starting school next year. We could have re tried alternative methods that hadn’t worked previously, and plodded on. We decided a short anaesthetic, a very quick and simple procedure (I have assisted in over 300 grommet insertion surgeries, myself, we knew what we were choosing) and a very easy recovery, and a pretty high success rate,  Other parents may not have chosen this option, other families may have tried this and not had it work for them, but for us, it was the best choice. We paid for him to have the operation, we went with our gut, and sought a second opinion, we felt we were being give the right answers second time round, we did it. We have no regrets.


Posted in Family Life and Parenting, Health, Sensory Processing Disorder and tagged ear infections, grommets, sensory issues, starting school.


    • Thank you, I think parental instinct is definitely something people underestimate. I have to admit it is one of my favourite photos!

  1. I can’t tell you how happy I am that he is doing so well!!! I understand your decision and would have made the same one myself. I don’t understand why people feel the need to question other parents’ decisions. It sounds as thiugh grommets were absolutelythe best thing for him! as an aside, Having gone through 5 months of horrific sleep deprivation I have a minuscule snapshot into what effect a child who doesn’t sleep can have on an entire family, not to mention the child themselves. He looks utterly gorgeous in his little uniform – you must be one proud, happy Mummy!! X

  2. So glad your boy is doing better. Our 4 year olds hearing was not great last year – nothing serious just fluid and the effect on his behaviour was staggering! When family members were cross with me for letting him play up I just knew it was because he was uncomfortable and could not keep up with what was going on around him.
    Just goes to show that mums (and dads) know best and we all make the best decisions we know how to for our children.

    • Ear infections are horrible and must make them feel so grotty, and it’s so hard to explain, to someone who doesn’t understand. Am sorry your boy is also having issues and family aren’t being understanding.

  3. No-one understands severe prolonged sleep deprivation unless they have lived it. If you are offered a way out of the constant groundhog-day misery then you will take it – plain & simple. I would gladly jump into bed with the devil himself if he could guarantee that my family would consistently sleep well. I admire you for taking charge and finding the solution, and am really pleased that small boy is so happy at nursery #MagicMoments

    • You are right, and it’s the people who have not had to struggle with his sleep and issues, that have been the ones loudly voicing that we could have done “more” other than opt for the medical route! Funny, how they didn’t offer to help out and give us some much needed time to rest, though! πŸ™‚

  4. I am so glad small boy is coping so well with all this transition since his op! I do have to say I think that has to be the cutest school picture i have seen he is lovely!

    thanks for linking up with #MagicMoment x

  5. Well done you and going with your instincts and persevering. It is so easy for a parent to be pushed into making the wrong decision, because they’re scared or want to trust the experts. It sounds like it was a really tough time for you but so glad for you that it all got sorted in the end x

    • Thank you. Most people have understood, but I have had one or two people, including family, criticise us for taking the medical route.

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