Will he let you? How will he cope?

I am going away in 3 weeks time. Leaving my crew for 2 nights and 2 days. It’s my birthday in three weeks time, and instead of gifts, I asked if I could have some time off. I tend to prefer minimum fuss for my birthday, and this year I asked if it would be ok if I went away for a weekend.

I was chatting to someone, about this. and when I mentioned I was taking a whole weekend off and going away, this was the response.

“Don’t you feel bad leaving your kids and husband? I couldn’t leave for a weekend, my other half wouldn’t cope”⁣

I have also mentioned my weekend away to someone else in passing and they seemed to be surprised that my husband would “let me” go away for a weekend.

Here’s the thing. I feel no guilt. ⁣

I rarely leave my family. We still have some sleep issues. As a mum who homeschools whilst working, I get very little me time. ⁣
I have a perfectly competent husband who manage/ when I am not around and in fact is often better at keeping life running than me. ⁣
I am tired. ⁣
The last 8 months have been BRUTAL. Two very stressful situations back to back, have hammered my mental health. ⁣

So, no, I don’t feel bad. If I don’t look after me, then I can’t look after everyone else. Also, I just need some space to be me and also sleep. 48 hours is neither selfish nor a lot, really. ⁣

Also – if your other half can’t cope with you leaving for a basic weekend away then don’t be projecting that on me. If you married or are in a relationship with someone who can’t manage a couple of days of you being away, then perhaps you need to be looking at this. It’s a problem. If you died, or were suddenly incapacitated, are they really such a man baby that they wouldn’t be able to manage?

On the topic of “letting me go”?

Of course I asked if it was ok for me to go, because it’s considerate, and he’s the other half of my relationship, and it’s polite and also part of being together. He wouldn’t book a weekend away of his own without checking if it was ok for me, our family, our diary and life. It works both ways. He isn’t “letting me go”. He is taking on looking after our children for a weekend to release me to rest and have some me time. I would do the same for him, and probably will, later this year. It’s not about permission, it’s about mutual support and consideration.

Also… Also – no one would ask the same question of me if I was a man planning a weekend away. Are we still living in the fifties? ⁣Seriously, I sometimes wonder.

Roses from Kew. Pink ones. Because a picture of  me exasperatedly rolling my eyes, tired face like, is not what you need to see. These are much nicer… 😉

Posted in Family Life and Parenting and tagged co parenting, Marriage, parenting, partnerships, self care, seriously though, Weekend away.