Unrelated but annoyed looking cat. Sums up how we feel about sleep…
Oh look, she’s blogging about sleep, or lack of it, again, I hear you mutter. Yes, I am going to talk about sleep, and probably sound a bit whiney, but this is more of an update post, than anything else.
We recently discovered that Small Boy has probably been suffering with chronic ear infections, which are likely to be the major contributing factor in his bad sleep habits. We are now in the process of getting reffered to ENT to see if he needs grommets, which hopefully will ease his discomfort, and make him feel better, and thus lead to better sleep.
Sadly though, for now, the poor sleep continues. He has gotten into some sleep habits, which mean that whilst we are getting some sleep, we aren’t getting as much as we need, but because I am not prepared to do anything in terms of “sleep-training” (how I hate that word, and we don’t believe in cry it out, or leaving him to scream, so we won’t be doing that once his ears are better anyway) until we are sure his ears are better and he isn’t in any more pain and the ear infections have cleared up. He comes into our bed, at night, at some point, and goes to sleep in between us, and invariably wakes me up, so once he has settled and gone back to sleep, I move him back to his own bed, because I cannot cope with him sleeping in our bed. He wriggles, hates the covers, likes to sleep touching me, and disturbs LSH. I don’t have a problem when he is unwell, or until he is back asleep and can be moved, but I don’t get any sleep if he is in the bed, and I need my sleep, for my mental and physical health. He needs the comfort of being close to me, to go back to sleep, and I am happy to give him that, but co-sleeping with him all night does not work for me.
He is going through a very needy, and sensitive stage. He has always been more high needs in terms of emotional security, compared to his sister, and we now know that his ear issues are probably a major contributing factor to this, as well as his personality in general. He is very attached to me, often just wants to be with me, no matter what I am doing, and will refuse to let LSH do anything for him, when I am around. He is also going through the normal 2-3 year development stages, so there are a few emotional outbursts, and some drama, as only a 3-year-old can produce, which we know is part of where he is at, as he grows up, but I am the only one who can comfort him, and often the only one who can calm him down, help him to get back to his normal, sunny self. When I am tired, and we have had a rough night, I still have to be Mummy, and I have to shake myself, and be there for him, and I will admit, it is hard work, and some days, I also end up in tears, when we have had a tough day. He is so bright, funny, and such an amazing little person, and I am learning a lot about my own emotions and how I control them, as I parent him, but, it is tiring. He is, in many respects a normal toddler, but he does have more needs, emotionally, and physically, now, and each day is a new day, as we try to figure out how to handle him, ourselves and life.
So, I am tired, we are tired, we plod on. Hopefully the ENT referral will happen soon, and we will be making progress towards getting him seen by a doctor and steps made towards grommets, we have taken cows milk entirely out of his diet, which is slowly helping to ease the pressure on his ears, sinuses and system, and I am learning to compromise on certain things, and letting my A type personality take a break. A sparkling, clean house would be lovely, I have so many friends I need to see, and a mountain of paperwork that needs catching up with, but if I have an hour or two alone, I nap. I am trying to go to bed earlier, to ensure I get as much sleep as possible. All our friends and family are excited that we have “finally” found out what the issue might be, but I know we have a long road ahead of us, to get things in a better place, so whilst I feel positive, I am not excited. I just want to manage our life, get a bit more sleep when we can, and carry on. I have said it before, but if sleep is for the weak, then I am not ashamed to admit, that I am weak. Small Boy’s sleep began to deteriorate around the time of his first ear infection, when he was 6 months old. We are now at 30 months of poor sleep. We hope this will begin to come to an end soon!